How to Find Mindfulness in a World Where Multi Tasking Rules

Are you a multi-tasker or a stay in the moment type?

It seems that we have all trained ourselves to not waste a single moment.  We fill in every tiny gap of time attempting to be as productive as possible.  To the ridiculous point where we find ourselves standing in front of the microwave shouting “hurry up”. Continue reading “How to Find Mindfulness in a World Where Multi Tasking Rules”

How to Support Your Blogging Friends

Simple Ways to Support Your Favourite blogger
Did you know that blogs started appearing in Australia as early as 2002? Often built on cumbersome platforms with dial-up internet, the pioneer bloggers needed to know how to write code to build their websites.  I am a newbie to the World of Blogging and I am very impressed with the amazing people who operate in this unique industry.  My gorgeous friends and family are super supportive of my blogging endeavours but I am finding very few people know how to support and exactly what that support really means to a blogger.

Continue reading “How to Support Your Blogging Friends”

Simple Ploys to Beat Imposter Syndrome and Find Your Inner Wonder Woman

Have you ever experienced Imposter Syndrome?

That moment when you are called upon to speak to more than one person in the capacity of “expert” and your heart begins to palpitate and you doubt your own credibility.

I think I have suffered with this syndrome for most of my life and not just in relation to public speaking.  Being a Mother and trying to convince my kids that I knew what I was doing – yep totally faking it. Training the dog – pretending that I am the one in control.  That time that a Doctor recommended removing my daughter’s Gall Bladder – totally faked that she lion don’t mess with my kid attitude. Continue reading “Simple Ploys to Beat Imposter Syndrome and Find Your Inner Wonder Woman”

How to Respond Rather Than Judge and Have Harmony

Do you ever feel angry and disappointed by what other people do or say and find yourself in judge mode?

As humans it’s instinctive to judge.  I went to a seminar the other night and the presenter was talking about how quickly we can make a good or bad first impression.  It takes 7 seconds to give someone a quick up and down and form an opinion about them.  If that’s a bad opinion, it takes another 8 positive impressions to get back to neutral.  The point being that all this happens subconsciously – we don’t even realize we’re doing it.
We make judgements subconsciously
It takes 7 seconds to give someone a quick up and down and form an opinion about them.

Consequently, it’s really easy to react to situations where we judge the other person to be in the wrong, stupid, not following the rules or just being a bit of a dick.

The Charlize Theron Incident

Yesterday, I was driving along the freeway.  I drive a little red Mini Cooper and in my mind I am Charlize Theron in the Italian Job.   Luckily, the freeway was relatively quiet, with only a few cars behind me and the right lane was empty. A 4 Wheel Drive Ute in front of me was loaded up with giant rolls of plastic. Suddenly, the giant rolls of plastic got caught in some thermal air pressure situation and bounced out of the back of the ute and flew toward my car.  This is where I really did channel Charlize.  I swerved like a rally driver and managed to avoid all the giant rolls hitting me by mere centimetres.  The cars behind stopped and I can only imagine the barrage of abuse the driver would have received.  This could have had a really bad outcome and luckily nobody was hurt and nothing was damaged.

My road rage gene was triggered and I thought “what an idiot, why didn’t he have them tied on properly?”  then I got to thinking, who knows why he didn’t tie them on.  Maybe his employer loaded them and told him they’d be fine and to get a move on.  Perhaps the driver was really late and would lose a contract if he didn’t deliver and just did not have time to tie them.  Maybe he had received some bad news or some catastrophe had happened and he forgot he even had the rolls on the back.  He could have just been a dick though and thought “she’ll be right”.  Whatever, I caught myself in judge mode by instinct.

 We judge others by their actions but we judge ourselves by our intentions.

judge by actions
We judge others by their actions but we judge ourselves by our intentions

The time I did a runner

I have two sons, they were born 15 months apart when I was in my early 20’s and on complete and utter overwhelm and exhaustion.  My husband was working full time and studying at night.  I had been through a difficult and stressful pregnancy.  I was trying really hard to meet everyone’s expectations and I was ridiculously hard on myself too as I attempted to be the perfect Mother.  One day, I had to do some urgent grocery shopping and supermarkets were always such a daunting proposition with these two little guys.   I put the eldest into the trolley and sat the little one in the toddler seat and proceeded to place my shopping into the trolley around my kid.  Suddenly, he started to choke and then threw up – all over the items in the shopping trolley.
Everyone is a package - don't judge
Mother on overload, a trolley full of kids and groceries

Here I was, a Mother on overload, a trolley full of kids and groceries covered in vomit.  As it started to trickle through the boxes and bags and drip onto the floor, I made an instant decision.  I hoisted one kid onto each hip and did a runner.   What I do know is that my intentions were good.  It was just beyond my capacity in that moment to even consider handling this like a grown up.

I am sure that whoever had to clean up the mess would have been saying some choice things and anybody watching the incident was probably shocked that I bolted.  What they did not know was that I suffered chronic migraines and spent a couple of days each week hardly able to function.  They would also not have known that every single cent was accounted for as we struggled to pay our mortgage, pay the bills and buy food.

We just never know what’s going on in someone else’s life and everyone is a package.

It’s that moment where we choose not to react.  To think about the whole person and what is really  going on.  By choosing to respond and not reacting we leave room for compassion and understanding.  It’s when people feel heard and understood that the humanity is triggered.

Think before we judge
By taking a moment, even a 3 second gap to think before we speak

We live our lives on hyper-speed, feeling that we need to have quick answers, fast opinions and make instant decisions.  By taking a moment, even a 3 second gap to think and to breathe before we speak, most confrontations can be avoided.  If our agenda is harmony, we solve, we think, we respond and that leads to much happier relationships with everyone around us.

Be Happy,
Debra xx

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5 Simple Ways to Beat Procrastination and Live Happily Ever After

Procrastination

Is procrastination driving you crazy?  We all have something that we are especially good at.  Usually, we want that to be an awesome skill, talent or even a special gift.  My special skill is the ability to bring procrastination to new and even greater heights.

Procrastination does not improve my life, it just makes me feel guilty and inefficient.

I have had to develop tricky ways to beat procrastination – hacks, if you will, which enable me to function more efficiently and get stuff done.

Firstly, why do we procrastinate?  Why don’t we just get stuck in and get things out of the way?

The art of procrastinating
I’ll just have a coffee – then I’ll do it.

The Reasons We Procrastinate:

  • Fear.  When a task is outside our comfort zone, fear is the biggest obstacle we face.
  • Urgency.  A task may not need to be done immediately, it may just have to be done by some future date.
  • Mundane.  Boring tasks are easy to put aside.  They are just simply too boring to face.
  • Perfection.  The mindset that unless you can complete a task perfectly you should not start it.
  • Resentment.  The feeling that someone else should be doing the task anyway.
  • Time.  I don’t have enough time to fully complete the task
  • Lazy.  Pretty self explanatory really, just plain too slack
  • Health.  Not feeling well enough, lacking energy.
  • Not my problem.  Trying to offload the responsibility of a task onto someone else.
  • Importance.  My time is valuable, therefore it is not worth my time to do the task.

    procrastinator
    Cannot be bothered, somebody else do it.

As I am a procrastination Ninja, I have come up with some unique and imaginative excuses to justify to myself why I cannot do certain tasks.

Examples of Excuses I Make to Procrastinate:

  • I shouldn’t call that person right now, they may be having dinner and will feel annoyed and think it’s an international telemarketer calling.
  • That task can wait because it’s way more important that I water the garden, check the mail or whatever other diversion I can conjure up.
  • Folding the washing is the most boring thing ever so I will just pull everything off the line and throw it in this basket for folding later.
  • The office needs a good sort out but I need to develop a fail proof filing system with cross checking and I need to research filing systems first.
  • What the hell, why should I always be the one who mops this floor anyway?  We all walk on it, it’s somebody else’s turn to mop.
  • Don’t start something unless you are going to finish it.
  • Arghhhh I can’t be bothered going through this boring process one more time.
  • I am just too tired to do this task effectively, I will do it after a nap.
  • If this task is not done it will not impact me at all. Someone else can do this one.
  • I am my own best asset and my time is worth X dollars per hour, therefore I am way too important to do this task.
  • Just need a coffee before I can get started.

5 Simple Strategies to Help Overcome Procrastination

  1.  Set a timer for 15 minutes and scramble to get the task completed.  By having a set time to complete or at least get a task underway you know that the job has a deadline.  It’s amazing how much you can get done in 15 minutes.  A timer makes you work faster and more efficiently, keeps you from being distracted by sub-tasks and gives you a sense of priority and focus.
  2.  Have a designated “Anti Procrastination Day”.  I have Anti Procrastination Wednesday – this means that everything I have been putting off has to be done on Wednesday.
  3.  Just be brave in the moment.  I have created a whole swag of affirmations and mantras which I use to help me to be brave in the moment.  I also use a strategy where I think about the worst thing that could possibly happen and take that to the extreme in ridiculousness and then I can do a reality check on what is really holding me back.  Just suck it up and do it.
  4.  There is  magic in going the extra mile.  It may not be your responsibility to do the task but there is always a payoff when you give unselfishly of your time, effort or heart.  The task may be mundane or relentlessly recurring and it just feels great to make the effort to get it over and done with.
  5.  Pay someone else to do it.  There are times when it is just plain practical to pay an expert to get the job done.  If you don’t have the skill set, or it will take you a long time then it’s probably worth paying a specialist who can do it in a fraction of the time while you get on and do things that you love and enjoy.

 

I can procrastinate about ironing - yes I can
Housework done imperfectly still blesses my family

CLICK HERE to download your Anti-Procrastination Mantra's

Overcoming Perfectionism:

Perfectionism is probably the most challenging to overcome because it seems so critical to do things “properly”.  I used to beat myself up about housework as I never felt I was on top of everything that I believed needed to be done.  I have now retrained my brain to not value perfectionism as a virtue.  My mantra for overcoming guilt and perfectionism with housework is “Housework done imperfectly still blesses my family”.  I love that so much!  It says that I don’t have to be perfect, my home does not have to be perfect and it’s all about loving my family and enjoying life!

What’s your strategy to beat procrastination?  Do tell!

 

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